Dialogue of a Man with his Soul
I am writing blogs as events
occur in Egypt, and I plan to post them later when this investigation is over.
There’s a famous scroll about
death and the afterlife from Egypt’s 12th Dynasty called the ‘Dialogue of Man
with his Soul’ (Berlin Papyrus 3024). It’s a dialogue between a rebellious man
and his soul, a struggle between his intellect and his spiritual being.
It’s an existential tussle, a
bit like Hamlet’s ‘To be or not to be?”
‘To whom can I speak today?’ the
man says. ‘I am heavy-laden with trouble.
Death is in my sight today,
Like the smell of myrrh.
Death is in my sight today,
As when a man desires to see home,
When he has spent many years in captivity.
As when a man desires to see home,
When he has spent many years in captivity.
(Here is) what my soul said to
me…’
‘You know you’re playing with spiritual
fire this time, Hunter,’ my soul says to me.
‘I know. I’m screwed,’ I say.
‘You’ve always flirted with the
forbidden, but usually it’s with dangerous Egyptian texts, sanctuaries and
artefacts. Now you’re embarking on the most dangerous archaeological project of
all, an investigation in Egypt to find the truth about your own tortured
beliefs.’
‘And yet… what the hell? I
shouldn’t be afraid of a collision with the truth.”
‘Bravery and arrogance are always the first
phases of self-deception.
Then comes despair… and sometimes in the end
understanding.’
‘What was I supposed to say to
the three wise men?’
‘Did you wonder why the
delegation from the world’s book-based religions were fearful and you were not?
They were afraid for a reason.’
‘You think I’m not nervous about
what they put on me? The fate of 3.8 billion people?’
‘You shrink at the burden they
gave you, but you relish the quest wherever it takes you. You always think you
can play with unseen forces, as you did with the Stone Book of Thoth in The
Ibis Apocalypse and in The Forbidden Glyphs affair, without fear of
repercussions. But do you want to kill God?’
‘Not you too. Even science can’t
kill him it seems.’
‘But you can kill him for
others, and for yourself. That father, like the lost archaeologist father you
still yearn for, will be gone forever.”
‘My father was never there for me. And neither is this one, well, only fitfully. I hate what Christianity did to Egypt, as much what Islam is doing to it now. That Bishop Theophilus deserves to burn in hell, along with the library and Serapeum he destroyed in Alexandria. And you can throw in that guy who burnt Hypatia after scraping off her flesh with oyster shells.’
‘My father was never there for me. And neither is this one, well, only fitfully. I hate what Christianity did to Egypt, as much what Islam is doing to it now. That Bishop Theophilus deserves to burn in hell, along with the library and Serapeum he destroyed in Alexandria. And you can throw in that guy who burnt Hypatia after scraping off her flesh with oyster shells.’
‘Saint Cyril.’
‘Saint, right. I could think of
another word.’
‘But what if it’s all really,
really true, Hunter, and souls must be saved at any cost?’
‘I can never quite buy the idea
that God needs us to do his work for him and save others, when he could just as
easily convert us all with a flick of his fingers.’
‘He wants us to find him. Think
of your own search. What is the hidden, ecstatic radiance that you have been
searching for all your life, digging for in the darkness of tombs? You have
tried to find it in women too, and in your obsession with the divine feminine
of Egypt. What do you hope to break through to on the other side? Pagan fire?
Or unbearable holiness? What does it matter about idols and temples made by
human hands? Or about jottings from human minds on dried up reeds?’
‘That’s where we part company. I
believe in granting value to the sacred, all sacred. Vandalism is vandalism,
even when it’s religious. As far as I am concerned you can’t put a pin between
Theophilus and the Taliban who blew up the ancient statues of Bamayan.’
‘Is ancient Egypt your passion
or your religion? You need to think about your love of idols. And speaking of
danger, you never saw that coming at the step pyramid.’
‘The
three gunmen? No. First I’m confronted by three men who hold the power of the
gun over me, then three men who hold the power of God over me.’
‘I
meant the daughter.’
“Persephone.’
‘Per-seph-o-ne.
How you like to roll that name off your tongue. Her appearance gives you a new
excuse to be part of this questionable enterprise.’
‘Yes,
okay, she’s damned attractive. Spirited too. I like her fire.’
‘I
wasn’t referring to her dark, almost ancient Egyptian good looks and your
weakness for the ancient feminine of Egypt. I meant she gives you an emotional
excuse to justify this unholy search for ammunition against faith. You want to
help her unmask those who killed her father.’
‘I
want to do that for my own reasons too.’
‘But
now it’s personal.’
‘It
was always personal. Philip was a friend.’
‘An
online friend. Not quite the same thing. You’ve met her in the flesh, been in
danger with her, held her hand, felt her tremble. You’re making it even harder
for yourself to back out.’
‘There’s
no question of backing out. I’m here in Egypt for answers.’
‘Does
that mean you’ve decided to dismiss the appeal of the three religious leaders
and the fate of 3.8 billion believers?’
‘I
didn’t say that.’
‘What
are you going to do if it all comes down to you in the end?’
‘Shouldn’t
we wait and see what happens?’
‘That’s
what you said to the three emissaries.’
‘I’m
sticking by it.’
